if i were to be granted one wish.. you know what i'd want?
i'd want to see how my future unfolds for me.
yes, the future is scary.. really scary.

how do you know the person you're with now is ur soul mate? how do you know the person you have spent half a decade with is the one? how do you know he/she is the right person, ur better half?

we don't get hints, we don't get clues.

"forever" is a strong word.. im sure everyone knows (or secretly believe) that nothing lasts forever but some people disagree because why? because the feeling that they're having for their partners are real and they're trying their very best to keep it that way.. or maybe they're just living in denial.

so how do we know the feelings that we're having are real? im sure you've felt this before.. you know the whole butterflies in the stomach, the whole excitement whenever you catch a glimpse of him/her.. how do we know its real? how do we know "that feeling" is love? maybe the whole thing is just about the idea of being in love, its nothing more.

yet again.. we don't get hints, we don't get clues. all we have are just questions.

these are the things that make our life even more beautiful, don't you think?

the best thing to do now is just to seize every moments you have shared with your loved ones because the feeling might end today, later, tomorrow or maybe in the next 5 years time. we'll never know.

the perfect song for this post ; if tomorrow never comes - ronan keating.



xx

i think i have lost my interest in blogging.

just a quick update.. Raya was okay, nothing special.

and i think i have gained weight.. had 2 bowls of Laksa Sarawak on the first day of Raya at Nabiya's house and today, i had 3 and a half bowls of Laksa Sarawak in within 8 hours or less? im not sure.

anyway.. i wont be updating that much since i dont really have anything to talk about but i surely will blog once in awhile.

toodles!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri,
Maaf Zahir dan Batin.



xx

let's update my blog, shall we?


so hmm, where should i start first?


okay, first of all, i regretted for only taking 3 subjects this semester because i feel very unproductive since my classes are only on Mondays and Wednesdays. i have a Sociology assignment given to me last Wednesday and it was about media blackout. i had to be on a media blackout for 48 hrs (no tv, handphone and computer, and yada yadaa) and obviously it didn't work. it only lasted for what, only 5 mins? haha. so im supposed to write a journal about it and i think ill just crap the whole thing. lol.


oh, last Tuesday.. i went to KL with Ind. heee! bought a pair of sneakers for my baby brother and i bought two flats from cotton on, two dresses and a top for me! Ind had no car so Jufri dropped us off at Pavilion and we took the train back. it was a good dayyyyy. :)


Went to Johnny's, One Utama to buka puasa with shak's friends from Bukit Jelutong on Friday evening. Johnny's had a blackout for about what, nearly an hour? All of us had to eat in the dark, bodoh kan? haha. then, we went to Chocolate Lounge to eat Chocolate Fondue and it was yummylicious! omg.. thinking about it now makes me hungry.. :(


Was supposed to buka puasa with Budin, Meen and all on Saturday but Ind had to buka puasa at home so we didn't go. :( Arsenal lost that night to Manchester City, 4-2. eeeeeeeee, bodo gila okay! 


There was this one day, me and Ind had popeyes chicken for buka. it was nice, better than KFC. i forgot what day lah, aiyo! i think it was on Wednesday or Thursday, hihi.


Yesterday, i had the longest day ever! On Saturday night, Agus asked if I wanted to be an extra for this one ad and since I had nothing to do so i thought i'd do it for the sake of the money. (even though it was very little but whatever, money is still money.) So me, Ind, Layla, Samad and Shak agreed to be extras for the ad. We had to be in PJ at 5.30 am and all of us didn't sleep before that. Reached Putrajaya around 7 am. Layla wasn't fasting due to period.. Shak awal awal lagi tak puasa so me, Ind, Samad and Agus thought we wanted to give it a try. They told us that it would probably end around 8 something but i knew it was going to end late anyway. Around 8 something, Samad broke his fast. Knowing that I was going to have a long day.. I decided to break fast as well, same goes to Ind. We all thought Agus was going to join us but no! he survived! hihi.. i respect him ok? it was a long and tiring day. we had to do a few scenes and there were marathon scenes and Agus was still going strong! All of them left around 10 pm except for me and Layla cause they had another scene left and they only wanted a few people so me and Layla got chosen. thought that it was going to end around 12 am but no, they started shooting around 1.30 am and i was super pissed and cranky. It ended around 2.40 am and we reached Subang around 3.15 am. i was awake for more than 24 hours yesterday.


i kind of forgot the feeling of going for shootings because it had been awhile since i last did one. i miss going for shootings. ;(



i slept around 4 am yesterday and woke up at 6 pm today. hahahah! i wanted to go for class just now but obviously i didnt wake up. around 6.45 pm, ind fetched me.. wanted to break fast in Sushi Zanmai but it was full so we broke fast in Delifrance instead.


alright then.


xoxo

its the time of the month, boohoo! i want to fast.. =( i really want to okay but i can't, what to do.

anyway.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASYRAF B HALIM! (as if you read my blog but.. whatever!)



xoxo

31st August 2009 ;

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia!
i didnt go anywhere for Merdeka, didn't feel like celebrating.


1st September 2009 ;

buka puasa at Subang Parade with amy, nelly, pai and ali. had kenny rogers, yum yum! 
Ind left to Unisel.
went to college for my Intro To News Reporting class and obviously, there was no class and they moved the class to Saturday, 9 am - 12 pm instead. i am so sorry but i don't do Saturdays so yes, i had no other option but to drop the subject, boohoo! =(
last week i had to drop group dynamics as well because i just can't deal with two psychology subjects in one day so instead of 5 subjects, i am only taking 3 this semester which is not really a good thing cause im wasting my time but i have no choice! other classes are either on Saturday or 3.30 - 6.30 pm which is a bad thing cause i dont have a car and TRUST ME no one is there to pick me up because everyone knows that the traffic in front of summit at 5.30 pm onwards is bad, really really bad.

2nd September 2009 ;

Happy 11th Birthday Jefri Mokhtar and Happy 23rd Birthday Khairi Mokhtar!
had my presentation today for Sociology and it went well, Alhamdulillah.
Kakak cooked nasi ayam and it was superyummylicious!
Bought Chocolate Indulgence from Secret Recipe for Jefri as well.

_____


my weekend is here already! wheee! Thursday - Tuesday ! My classes are only on Mondays and Wednesdays, that's good ain't it? hihi. alrite, i wanna go watch Private Practice.




xoxo

ok, i know people's reaction would be "alaa short semester je" and "two subjects pun nak kecoh" and such but whatever because i dont care!

i got 4.0 for Summer Semester 2009!

scored A for Media Ethics and Developmental Psych and i am just so happy. Alhamdulillah! i kept having dreams that i was going to get 3.5 instead.

woke up at 8.30 am today, called college and no one picked up. Nadrah called Shantini (the person who's in charge) and she didn't pick up the phone as well so me and Nadrah thought that no one was around in college and we had to wait till Tuesday to get our results. I tried calling them again at 9.30 and yes, Chitra (another person who's in charge) was there and we were allowed to get our results. So, i woke up straight away and did not even mandi (hahahaha). went to college, obviously no one was around. took my results and i didnt even dare to look at it, masuk lift then i saw two A's and i was like whaaaaaattttaawhaaaaaaaatttt and i smiled sorang sorang dalam lift. hahahaha! before i left to college, i had a dream that i scored 3.5 and it felt real so i was really shocked to see two A's on my results.

moreover, i seriously thought that the best i could get for Media Ethics was a B.

im just so happy, Alhamdulillah.

i've never smiled this much for the past 8 days of Ramadan, seriously.

things have been pretty bad lately, and i just don't know how to make it right.

im tired, really im tired. but no, im not giving up and its not that i can't take it anymore.

i just want things to change, for once? okay.. i know i messed up as well, i am still selfish from time to time but i dont know. i just want things to be better. i want the good old days.

july and august are bad months, seriously.

i miss you.

my first day of puasa was bad, really bad. but i am glad my iman was kuat, i tried my very best not to break fast by having a stick of cigarette. anyway, this one particular girl, really pissed me off. apa, kau ingat boyf aku kuli kau ke apa? and plus.. why him? why not other people? and plus, its ur freaking car lah! it really pissed me off till i felt like telling her off but we were in front of ind's friends and i didnt want to make a scene so yes, i kept quiet and obviously i was in a very very VERY BAD MOOD.

i was trying my best not to swear and control my anger in this holy month of Ramadan but obviously it didn't happen. i had to swear, i had to start cursing.

second day of puasa was okay. it wasn't as bad as the first day. buka puasa with Ind, Samad, Layla and Budin at Lorong 100 Tahun in Taipan.

third day of puasa was the day my semester started. i had trouble waking up early, obviously! woke up early, went for class and it ended abt half an hour later and that was Abnormal Psychology's class. second class was Group Dynamics, it was okay and somehow it ended early as well. i hate first week, seriously! i had to go because my add and drop week only lasts for a week which will end this Friday. bodoh kan?

forth day of puasa was hmm okay. well not really. was quite pissed for certain reasons. i feel like i have been abandoned by my dad. then i found out my cheque was not even prepared in the first place so yes.. all my plans were crushed by a phone call. went to college for my Intro to News Reporting class and the lecturer wasnt even around so yes, pembaziran masa yang amat ketara. anyway.. after college. had to go to ind's place to get his charger, went back to my place to charge his phone because i needed details and it was in his phone. went to the bank and headed straight to pyramid. wanted to watch a movie with amy, pandu and iman (my two indo college friends) but pandu and iman didnt have cash in their hands so they ended up playing bowling and me and amy joined them. haha. but it was good. buka puasa at bidara sunway with amy, had tom yam for buka! heeee!

fifth day of puasa was hmm.. okay as well. results are still not out and i was super mad! it has been too long. seriously. went for my Basic Composition 2 class and the lecturer wasn't around either! @#$%^&!! so obviously i did not have class and had to wait till 12 pm for my Sociology class so imagine i had to wait from 8.45 am till 12 pm, terima kasih college kerana membuang masa saya lagi skali. thank god Nadrah was around, at least i had someone to talk to. Sociology was okay, i'm having my first presentation for Sociology next week and i do not even have the book! hahaha. buka puasa with Pai and Bob yesterday at Bob's place, it was good.

sixth day of puasa, which is today is so far so good. it is only 1.20 pm so yes.. still a long way to go. im hungry and im bored and i dont have class and i am still waiting for my results. even if the results are out i dont think i can go and take it cause i aint got no transport, boohoo. :(

the past few days have been tough. seriously. my emotion was very unstable. i really hope the days are going to get better next week, insyaAllah.

Hello Ramadhan!

its Saturday and fall semester starts this Monday.. no! i dont want to wake up early, i want to be lazy forever! =((

anyway.. selamat berpuasa! (;

howdy! rashes are finally wearing off, Alhamdulillah! but obviously it takes quite sometime for the whole thing to be clear again but its alright.. anyway.. i have nothing much to update since i didn't do much for this holiday. it has been the most boring semester break ever so far.

will be starting my classes on the 24th August, boohoo! ;( results are coming out soon i guess and i am freaking out. 

decided not to go for mtv world stage because of the whole h1n1 thingy but well.. im not going to lose anything anyway.

alrighty then.

later!

rashes on my thighs are still there and i do not think its allergy, i think it is skin irritation. its annoying, really! i cant stand it anymore. will be seeing the doctor tomorrow to get an injection, hopefully everything will be okay after that. insyaAllah.

holiday has been boring.. seriously.

im bored. =(

my inner thighs are full with rashes, my hands are itchy too and i still do not know the cause of it.

i first noticed it was itchy the night after i went jogging with ind, shak and farez (which i forgot how many days ago). it came back a few days ago, i started scratching it so badly and i get disgusted looking at my own rashes. it was horrible! anyway.. i thought it was nothing cause it wasn't that itchy all the time, it comes and goes so i didnt want to make it such a big deal and all so i ignored it.

it got worst 2 days ago when i couldn't take it anymore.. the condition was still the same except it got worst cause i scratched it too hard.. went to the clinic at 2 a.m in the morning.. got calamine lotion, two types of medicines. i dont know why but sometimes i think that the medicines and the lotion do not help me in any way cause it still itches oh and yes obviouslly it looks much better but i dont know.. whenever i eat the tablets, i feel like the gatal is like two times worst than before. maybe it is just me, i dont know. but whatever lah! i hope ill be fine soon. please, i cant take it anymore! :(

holiday has been nothing but boringgggggggg! didnt do much, really. i did go to laundry on Thursday night and it was only for awhile cause we went there quite late, so yeah. holiday means nothing if u aint got any cash yo! other than that, hmm lets see. nothing! i did go out lah, not that i did not go out at all, but only to SS 15. bah!

the first week of holiday is only starting this monday.. i was on holiday 6 days earlier cause my finals were just in one day. what to do for the next 3 weeks?!

gossip girl season 1 & 2, private practice season 1 & 2, greys anatomy season 1 - 5 (again): all done!
and i managed to borrow sepi's dvd from a friend of mine and boy.. i was emotional the whole night, haha. i am sentimental, i know. now im currently looking for cinta's dvd. i know i could get it in speedy video but im broke so yeah.. i have to put it on hold at the moment.

why can't money grow on trees? why why why?!

oh yeay.. fasting month is just around the corner, i so cant wait! my fall semester starts on the first day of Ramadhan, haha. of all the days.. the first day of class okaaaayyyyy! well, im not taking it as a bad thing because class or no class, i am still going to fast and i would take it as a challenge.. to make it more worth it, insyaAllah.

i shall restrain myself from hanging out with netto and amy.. haha, kiddingggggg!


later, xoxo!

FINALS ARE OVER, WOOHOO!
ONE MONTH BREAK BABY!
ok, i know its just one month but whatever! =P

i am so sad because i found Grey's Anatomy's game on WII, DS and PC but not PS3. this is unfair, waaay unfair! =(

anyway.. i have one small presentation left and finals' timetable are out and boyyy, i thought my papers are on monday and wednesday but no, both of the papers are on Monday so i have about 6 days left to study! shit shit shit shit shit! on a brighter note, i'll be finishing my exams earlier and i get 4 weeks of holiday instead of 3 weeks! huuray! oh and apart from that, next semester's timetable is out and by far this is the suckiest timetable ever! first of all, i dont know why the first class starts at 8.30 am - 11.30 am (which normally it starts at 9 am, i know it is just half an hour but still!) and instead of one hr break we only have half an hour cause the next class starts at 12 pm - 3 pm and then the third class will be at 3.30 pm till 6.30 pm. and of course i wont take the 3.30 pm class because next month is fasting month and everyone knows the traffic in front of my college is so bad! so i have no other choice, i have to take tough subjects next semester. my only options are sociology, group dynamics and abnormal psychology and two of them are like psychology based and sociology is a bit of psychology and a bit of hmm.. i dont know so yes, i am dead! but well, my classes are only on mondays and wednesdays so i think its fine, shouldnt be a problem i guess?

its 1.30 am and uh.. it feels like it is only 10 pm cause i took a nap at 7 pm and woke up at 10 pm and my day is wasted just like that! bah! stupid nap.. it shouldnt have gotten that far.

on the other hand.. baby is coming back soon so yeay but boohoo at the same time cause he gets to relax and i have to study due to my finals but it is okay.. 6 days sarah and you'll be free! hihi.

oh and All American Rejects are coming and they're not selling the tickets (which is not important to me cause i don't buy tickets) but i am figuring out a way to go and i really really reallyyyy want to meet tyson ritter so i have no other options except to ask someone. should i or i should not?

i am so proud of Malaysian's football team because the first match, Man Utd won 3 - 2 and the second match, Man Utd won 2 - 0. i mean, hello is that the best you could do? 2 - 0? hahahah! i mean, i underestimated Malaysian's football team and i thought that they were gonna lose to Man Utd like probably 6 - 0 or something but no.. they were good on Saturday and i am not sure how they played today cause Astro doesn't cover it so yes.. way to go Malaysia!



later! xoxo

Yes, my nose is blocked. Phlegm is piling up, i could sense that. And i should definitely say thank you to the haze for making me sick.. bah! anyway.. i fell sick yesterday and i had presentation today and obviously i was not prepared for it (as always..) but well, whatever! i scored 20/20 for my developmental psychology's midterm and 8/10 for my developmental psychology's quiz. woohoo woot woot! oh and did well for my comm and media ethics too, Alhamdulillah. i am definitely aiming for another dean's list for this semester, insyaAllah.

i miss my boyfriend.. i miss dba and azie.. i haven't seen them for quite sometime, =(

ive been busy! well not really.. ive been going out a lot! i go out like every single day and i know mama is getting annoyed, teehee! but i have to admit that once you start going out every single day, you can never stop and somehow it is going to be difficult for you to study. so its true, lepak melemahkan minda!

i have 2 presentations and 1 assignment left.. finals are just around the corner and holiday is starting soon! whoopeeeee! but damn, ill be broke during the holiday! nooooooooo! =(



xoxo

even though this year's birthday presents were not as much as it was before (5 - 6 years back) but i am happy because probably this year's birthday presents are the best ever! blackberry, a watch, shorts.. hihi. and now i am waiting for a birthday present from Ind, cant wait! :)